So I saw an ad for Live Journal somewhere last week. I had no clue that Live Journal was still up and running. Why not? There's all sorts of blogs and journals out there. Hell, this is the day and age of Youtube. So I was like that could be fun, to have a journal again. I just need to make myself actually write in it. I seem to have a hard time getting myself to write in a actually tangible paper journal, why do I think this would be easier? Maybe because its something I get to do on my new laptop. Yeah, I finally got a new one. Its been 5 1/2 years since my other one decided to not let me turn it on anymore. I just could never afford one til now, and that's only thanks to student loans. Yep, that's right, I'm back in college. It only took me 8 years lol. Its only an online college, Ashford University. They have an actual campus, but its somewhere in the middle of Iowa. I've only been enrolled since the beginning of the year. I really like it. I mean it definitely gets frustrating sometimes but I just try to keep pushing through. I'm going for an Associates in Early Childhood Education. I'd like to try to maybe become a preschool teacher. Right now the class I'm taking is World Civilization. History has never been one of my best classes. I've always been interested in history, I love learning the history of places and things, but I get frustrated when my brain doesn't know exactly how to tackle an assignment. All I can do is try. I just want to better myself. I want to be the best person I can be. That actually sounds so weird coming from me. I mean I've always felt that way deep down but never really cared enough to what to do something about it. With school though, I just get so scared of failing. Failure as been a big fear my whole life. I know I have potential to do things, I just never wanna fall and fail. But that is how we learn. From our mistakes. I already know that for sure. Everything is a lesson. Even the ones that hurt. This journal might actually be a good idea. I definitely do need a place were I can just let my thoughts run wild right now. Alright, as much as I could just keep talking right now, I've been doing homework all day and its about time to chill out, watch some tv, and hopefully get some good sleep tonight.