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"She's trying hard
To fit in some city
But her home is 'neath that big, blue sky
And the Northern Plains and those other wide open spaces
Nowadays there ain't as many"

I'm just spending the night listening to some of my favorite songs from the last few years. While listening to George Strait - How Bout Them Cowgirls, I realized how much that line fits me so well right now. I feel like I just want to belong somewhere and feel like I have an actual life again, not just living day to day. One thing I feel like I really miss right now is the country summer nights. Its almost like I feel like this city is suffocating this country girl. Anyway that's it for now, I'll post more soon.
 
 
 
 
 
 
As much as I'm really wanting to post in this thing at least once a week, its turning more into a once a month kind of thing. I'm doing so much writing for school most of the time that I don't think I have any writing and or ideas left in my head at the end of the day or week. Also nothing really excited happens. Homework is pretty much my life. Which is a good thing really because than I can focus mainly on school. So I talked to Morgan last week and she might come down and visit. It would be nice to be able to hang out with someone and feel like I actually still have a friend. So we'll see if that actually happens. I've been doing a lot of walking lately. The car is a little broken at the moment, long story on that shit. Its finally in the shop getting fixed. Actually its been kinda nice not driving all the time, but walking when its really hot here kinda sucks at times too. So its a win lose situation sometimes. Maybe win win lose cuz it helps me get some exercise and I do need that. Basically I'm just trying to enjoy summertime as much as I can even though I really don't care to be in this city. I also know its my only option right now and I'm extremely grateful for it. So back to more about school. I'm really trying, and I'm actually not doing to bad. I got a B- in my last class which was an 82 which I guess isn't even really that bad. As Vickie told me, we cant do well in everything. It was Ethics, and some of it was a bit confusing. So I'm just continuing to move forward and doing the best I can. Anyway I think thats all for now. Hopefully it wont be another month before I post again but I'm not making any promises lol.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Have you ever been in a helicopter? If yes, what was the occasion and where did you go?
God, no. You would probably have to heavily sedate me to get me into one.
 
 
 
 
 
 
If you could go back to any time of your life, when would it be? What made that time so special to you?
If I could go back to anytime in my life, I think it would have to be when I was 18 - 21. I had just graduated high school, had great friends, and life was an adventure all the time.
 
 
 
 
 
 
What is your favorite holiday? What do you usually do on this day -- do you have any special traditions for it?
Halloween, 4th of July, and New Years Eve. As I've gotten older, and sober lol, I've stopped celebrating holidays as much as I did when I was younger. Ya know people like to party any chance they get and holidays tend to be a big option for a party and drinking, and that just isn't my scene anymore. So holidays now are pretty much just like any other day on the calender. Sometimes I do long for those days when a holiday really was a celebration, but life has changed.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Ohh LiveJournal, how I said I would write in you often. Well cut to a month later and still only the one post. Sometimes I feel like I just don't have things to say, and when I do have an idea or thought, I'm most likely not near my computer. Maybe I should download the app on my phone. Annndd here I am feeling like I'm out of things to say now. Damn. lol. ohhhh Jennifer Nettles is suppose to have a new album out in the fall. That's something fun to look forward to. I think one of the things that keeps me from writing in here is that a lot of the stuff in my head I just try to push out. They aren't really things I want to come across and have to relive later on. Not that they are that extreme, but just some of the shit I've gone through this year. But like that saying goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I definitely feel like my life as made me a strong person, even though sometimes my emotions do get the better of me. Ha The Band Perry singing Uptown Funk, I never really took the time to listen to this song but I think I could actually get into it with them singing it lol. They are suppose to have a new album coming out sometime soon too.

"It ain't like midnight and cigarette smoke, Its like watered down whiskey and coke, I guess somethings just don't mix like ya hoped, like me and you, and diamond rings and old barstools"
 
 
 
 
 
 
Have you ever had any run-ins with the law or been arrested? What happened (if you feel comfortable sharing the story)?
I've made my bad choices that resulted in cops and court being involved. I was young and stupid. I did what was asked of me and paid my fines. I learned from my mistakes and come out a better person.
 
 
 
 
 
 
So I saw an ad for Live Journal somewhere last week. I had no clue that Live Journal was still up and running. Why not? There's all sorts of blogs and journals out there. Hell, this is the day and age of Youtube. So I was like that could be fun, to have a journal again. I just need to make myself actually write in it. I seem to have a hard time getting myself to write in a actually tangible paper journal, why do I think this would be easier? Maybe because its something I get to do on my new laptop. Yeah, I finally got a new one. Its been 5 1/2 years since my other one decided to not let me turn it on anymore. I just could never afford one til now, and that's only thanks to student loans. Yep, that's right, I'm back in college. It only took me 8 years lol. Its only an online college, Ashford University. They have an actual campus, but its somewhere in the middle of Iowa. I've only been enrolled since the beginning of the year. I really like it. I mean it definitely gets frustrating sometimes but I just try to keep pushing through. I'm going for an Associates in Early Childhood Education. I'd like to try to maybe become a preschool teacher. Right now the class I'm taking is World Civilization. History has never been one of my best classes. I've always been interested in history, I love learning the history of places and things, but I get frustrated when my brain doesn't know exactly how to tackle an assignment. All I can do is try. I just want to better myself. I want to be the best person I can be. That actually sounds so weird coming from me. I mean I've always felt that way deep down but never really cared enough to what to do something about it. With school though, I just get so scared of failing. Failure as been a big fear my whole life. I know I have potential to do things, I just never wanna fall and fail. But that is how we learn. From our mistakes. I already know that for sure. Everything is a lesson. Even the ones that hurt. This journal might actually be a good idea. I definitely do need a place were I can just let my thoughts run wild right now. Alright, as much as I could just keep talking right now, I've been doing homework all day and its about time to chill out, watch some tv, and hopefully get some good sleep tonight.